You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
