please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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