There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
