what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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