I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
