wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
