I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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