I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
