We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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