no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
