Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
