My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
