At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
