Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
