I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
