She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
