called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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