I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
