Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I love black thongs
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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