He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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