I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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