I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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