Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
