TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
