i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
