After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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