So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize