just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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