Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
