Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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