So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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