Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
