This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize