he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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