About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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