cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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