i permit you to call me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Be still, my beating vagina.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize