Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
