and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
