Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
