i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
