your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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