By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
