weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
