forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
tequila makes me forget i have legs
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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