I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Come back. Shots need mouths.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
