As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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