dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
