i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
