No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
