so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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