my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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