put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
