I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
love makes seman taste better
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
