Joe is yelling at the trees again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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