Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
even my farts smell like vagina
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize