My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
