she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
