i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
