my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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