He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize